I shared this on another website in response to a question, but thought it might be a good thing to repeat it here (for MY reminding).
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Trying to walk in joy and contentment in the midst of long term trials - especially trials that are caused from the foolish choices of others - is a very very hard place to be. It is hard to see the tunnel, much less the light at the end of it. When we see our children struggle in the same way, it makes things even harder to deal with.

One thing to remember is WE ARE NOT ALONE. Jesus is there with us every step of the way. He said He would NEVER leave us or forsake us. When He said that He never would, He meant exactly that. In every phase of our trials, He is right there with us in the midst of it. He has NOT forgotten us and gone off to Olive Garden or something...He is holding us in His righteous right hand.

Another thing to remember, we may that it is harder to accept when these trials are brought on by others rather than directly through God. But don't forget, NOTHING happens in our lives unless God allows it. Even the enemy's attacks against us are only allowed by the will of God. And He allows these things in our lives for His glory and for our best. I know it doesn't seem that way now, but in the eternal weight of Glory, it will be. The things He is teaching us through our suffering now will far surpass any sorrows here on earth. This is something we need to take on faith because it is so hard for us to see past our own temporal lives here...but it is truth nonetheless.

Going back and looking at "what might have been" at various turns in the road of our lives is NEVER healthy for us, nor is it where God wants us to be. Every turn, every choice made has now BECOME the path through which God's will and blessings will come, when we walk in openness and humility before Him, making sure we confess our sins openly to Him as He reveals them to us. And sometimes He calls us to walk a path of suffering in order to bring those around us to repentance for hardened hearts and sin, but that might take years to come about.

The key to it all is this: Is God worthy to be trusted even when I cannot see where this path will end or when my suffering is a direct consequence to another person's folly? And the answer is: Yes, no matter what circumstance goes on in my life, God is STILL worthy of my trust.

8 years ago today, at 2:03pm the doctor walked out of the OR and handed our little baby boy Seth into Kevin's waiting arms.  I, on the other hand, wouldn't see him until I woke up from the emergency C-section about 1 3/4 hours later.  He was (and still is) adorable and a sweet, loving, cuddly boy.

His birth was a bitter-sweet time for me.  My mother had passed away exactly one week before and I wasn't able to make it to her funeral.  We tried to induce but God had other plans.  The Lord, however, flooded my  heart with peace, even in the midst of my grief and Seth's precious life filled the aches of missing my mom.

The Lord has blessed this little boy with a very playful yet melancholy personality.  He remembers almost everything he hears and we are always surprised at how much he DOES hear.  He keeps us all laughing and comes up with some of the funniest comments, questions and reasonings of anyone in our family.  We call them Seth-isms and Hannah has a blog devoted to them!!

Seth, happy birthday my darling boy. I'm delighted in the young man you are growing into and your desire to follow Jesus and be a Mighty Man of God.  I love you.

One of my daughters  has taken on the task of menu planning, shopping and delegating meal prep until she is able to find a full time job so I haven't posted  here in awhile.  But I'll be posting HER meal plans here.




Monday:
B: chocolate chip muffins
L: ramen
S: chicken & pasta & sauteed squash

Tuesday:
B: oatmeal
L: english muffin pizzas
S: meatballs & spaghetti & salad

Wednesday:
B: cereal
L: mac & cheese & ham
S: homemade pizza

Thursday:
B: homemade donuts
L: corndogs & rice
S: pasta w/white sauce & veggie tray

Friday:
B: bagels
L: popcorn & fruit
S: quiche (broccoli, bacon)

Saturday:
B: french breakfast puffs
L: peanut butter sand   
S: baked chicken w/stuff/veggie

Sunday:

B: fayes coffee cake
L: quesidillas
S: leftovers/cereal

I was speaking with a very dear and sweet friend this morning and thought, in light of my post yesterday on the Proverbs passages, I would share some of the things we talked about, plus a little bit more.

When I was a young mom I really struggled with wanting well-behaved children.  Now, of course, this isn't a sinful thing, it isn't even a bad thing but it CAN be a distraction from the REAL purpose God has laid out for me during these few fleeting years of raising my children.  I remember feeling so much "on display", as if my family, my parenting skills (which were just beginning to grow) and my children were being watched, weighed and critiqued.  And the probably were.  I would stress about what others thought about me when my children did such-and-such.  And, of course, they always DID do such-and-such!!!

Then I went to a marriage conference and heard the one thing that freed me up from the guilt and fear that was binding my heart up as a mother.  This one godly man said, "Our parenting is not judged by what our children do.  Scripture tells us, 'foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child' so we know FOR A FACT that they will do foolish things - and probably with great regularity!  Our parenting is judged by HOW WE RESPOND."  You know, I can't control what my children are going to do in the foolishness of their hearts prompting their own struggles with sin. But I CAN control (by the grace and power of the Spirit) how I respond!

That very week I was given a beautiful illustration of that truth.  I was at the drug store with Hannah who was about 13 months at the time. She was strapped into the shopping cart and I turned to pick out an item.  In those few seconds, she slipped out of her strap and was beginning to climb out and starting to tip over.  I grabbed her and VERY CALMLY said, "Oh no, Hannah!  You may not climb out after Momma has strapped you in.  You could have fallen.  It is very dangerous.  You must obey when Momma says to stay sitting down."  as I sat her down and strapped her back in.  A woman came BOUNDING from several aisles over and I thought she was going to yell at me for *allowing* my daughter to climb out.  Instead she told me what a joy it was to hear me speak so gently and lovingly to my daughter without giving in to her foolish desire to climb out.  She said most moms would scream at their child to sit down but that my speaking gently to her avoided the tantrums and screaming from the child, kept  her safe and taught her at the same time.  She THANKED ME for speaking so well to my daughter!!  I was floored! This woman understood that 'foolishness was bound up in the heart of a child', that children WILL try to climb out of their seats.  She didn't judge my parenting based on what foolish thing Hannah did, but she looked at MY response and saw (that time, at least) a loving yet firm response of training and instruction.

The other thing that I learned at that conference I went to is that parenting is not PRIMARILY about teaching our children to be well-behaved.  It is PRIMARILY about discipleship.  I teach and train my children to behave as a forerunner to their learning to obey the Lord.  I teach and train my children to surrender to my authority as a training ground for their surrendering to the Lord, first at salvation, then in sanctification for the remainder of their lives.  I don't focus on child training for its own sake, but for the sake of the SPIRITUAL training that  underlies all that I do and all that I am.  My ultimate and final goal is for them to seek to find and obey God's will - them learning how to obey my will in these early years is the place where they begin to learn this concept.  Hopefully they will also be learning from MY example as I grow in this area of submitting to the Lord's will in my own life.

Yes, child training is LONG, it is HARD, it is INCONVENIENT, it is EXHAUSTING and it is seriously TIME CONSUMING.  But it only lasts for a season and then our work is done.  We will have done all that we could (with where we were and what we knew) in the time we had.  "A pupil is not above his teacher; but everyone, after he has been fully trained, will be like his teacher." My goal is that, after my children are as fully trained as I am able to do, that they will be like me WHEN I AM BEING LIKE JESUS.

I was invited by a friend yesterday to go on a Pampering Spa Time. I got a facial massage (very relaxing and refreshing...really enjoyed that one), a manicure and a pedicure. The hot wax/parafin thing was WAAAAY cool (well, it was quite hot actually, but ... you know what I mean) and made my aging alligator skin feel soft and shiny (no wait, hair gets soft and shiny, not skin ... well and I don't have hair, so that is a moot point ... anyway) and young again!

But then I had to choose the COLOR for my nails and I never really like nail polish on short finger nails. It makes me feel like I look like Herman Munster. So I picked what *I* thought was a light, fairly neutral color. Today, my daughter and my girlfriend Julia and I went to a play to see "The Wedding Singer" and on the drive Julia said my finger nails were orange. ORANGE!!! I said, "Oh no! They are salmon!" She chuckled and said they were orange, and that wasn't salmon an orange color anyway? We discussed it and she accepted it was peach.

In church tonight, under the florescent lights THEY WERE ORANGE!!!!! My girls said they were peach, one said: orange-ish. OH NO!!! I have ORANGE finger nails! That's almost as bad as looking like Herman Munster!

Well, tomorrow this polish is coming off and a soft tan color will replace it. I knew getting a manicure was a mistake. I can't even tell orange from salmon from pink-ish. Sheesh! Who said being a female was easy????

I've been thinking lately about the value of pain in our lives. I've noticed that very often our experiences are so vastly different from one another. I think about my dad who lived with severe pain since his teen years when he was a POW in a German prison camp and endured beatings, starvation, forced marches, and exposure in the frozen wildnerness areas of Poland and Germany. His physical suffering over the years affected his mental and emotional health and it affected his relationships - primarily with his wife and children.

I know some people who have never really experienced long term pain.

I've been thinking about the value of pain in our lives, from God's point of view. I think about folks like Joni Erickson Tada who has suffered for decades and Corrie ten Boom whose sister and father died in pain and who also suffered much at the hands of the Nazis.

What is the value of pain in the eyes of God? The world certainly sees no value in pain and does anything and everything to avoid it -- at ALL costs and sometimes even to its own detriment!

Job experienced physical and emotional pain and determined at the end that it allowed him to see God in a very real way that he never knew Him before.

I know that in my own life, it is very easy to try to rest in my own strength without pain. I feel like I can handle things on my own. When I'm struggling with pain, I find that even speaking cheerfully to my children is a labor and I cannot do it apart from the power of God; let alone being able to accomplish the tasks and responsibilities that are mine each day as a wife and mother. I find walking in the joy of the Lord is not just a platitude, it becomes a lifeline for my mental health and walk of faith.

I guess God does His own special and unique works in each of our hearts and lives through the trials He chooses to bless each of us with. The one that God seems to have designed for me is the concept of Joy in the Lord. Over the past 10-15 years I have learned so much about walking in the joy of the Lord - but only see how sorely I fail and how dearly I need to understand and experience it more. But I have also seen that it IS the lifeline that keeps me connected to His Love and it is the strength of my faith. When I lose my joy, I lose sight of God and I begin to flounder in the muck and mire of the circumstances around me. When I choose to walk in His joy, I feel that nothing else matters except for God and His love. And that begins to affect how I view and act toward all those around me; and it affects how I view and act toward God.

So, Nehemiah wasn't just whistling Dixie when he said, "the joy of the Lord is your strength"!