I've been thinking lately about the value of pain in our lives. I've noticed that very often our experiences are so vastly different from one another. I think about my dad who lived with severe pain since his teen years when he was a POW in a German prison camp and endured beatings, starvation, forced marches, and exposure in the frozen wildnerness areas of Poland and Germany. His physical suffering over the years affected his mental and emotional health and it affected his relationships - primarily with his wife and children.

I know some people who have never really experienced long term pain.

I've been thinking about the value of pain in our lives, from God's point of view. I think about folks like Joni Erickson Tada who has suffered for decades and Corrie ten Boom whose sister and father died in pain and who also suffered much at the hands of the Nazis.

What is the value of pain in the eyes of God? The world certainly sees no value in pain and does anything and everything to avoid it -- at ALL costs and sometimes even to its own detriment!

Job experienced physical and emotional pain and determined at the end that it allowed him to see God in a very real way that he never knew Him before.

I know that in my own life, it is very easy to try to rest in my own strength without pain. I feel like I can handle things on my own. When I'm struggling with pain, I find that even speaking cheerfully to my children is a labor and I cannot do it apart from the power of God; let alone being able to accomplish the tasks and responsibilities that are mine each day as a wife and mother. I find walking in the joy of the Lord is not just a platitude, it becomes a lifeline for my mental health and walk of faith.

I guess God does His own special and unique works in each of our hearts and lives through the trials He chooses to bless each of us with. The one that God seems to have designed for me is the concept of Joy in the Lord. Over the past 10-15 years I have learned so much about walking in the joy of the Lord - but only see how sorely I fail and how dearly I need to understand and experience it more. But I have also seen that it IS the lifeline that keeps me connected to His Love and it is the strength of my faith. When I lose my joy, I lose sight of God and I begin to flounder in the muck and mire of the circumstances around me. When I choose to walk in His joy, I feel that nothing else matters except for God and His love. And that begins to affect how I view and act toward all those around me; and it affects how I view and act toward God.

So, Nehemiah wasn't just whistling Dixie when he said, "the joy of the Lord is your strength"!

Growing up I lived in a predominantly religious community, but not necessarily with most folks really KNOWING God or Jesus in a deep intimate way. After going to college and surrendering my life to Christ I began to look back at family members and high school friends and think, "Hmmm, I wonder if that person was really saved!" Come to find out, most of them were.

In these past few days I've reconnected (via the magic of cyberspace) with some old friends...and it has been an absoslute delight to find that a few of them have also found Jesus along their path of life.

It was reminding me of Elijah after he performed his huge miracle with the prophets of Baal who were slashing themselves and jumping up and down and screaming for their god to bring fire down from heaven, and Elijah pours barrels of water on the altar (in the midst of a drought, no less) and quietly prays for Jehovah to work. God brought down fire, consumed the offering on the altar, all the water and the prophets of Baal to boot! Elijah kind of freaks out and runs from Ahab and Jezebel - runs to the hills. While he's there he goes before the LORD and declares:

'Then he said, "I have been very zealous for the LORD, the God of hosts; for the sons of Israel have forsaken Your covenant, torn down Your altars and killed Your prophets with the sword. And I alone am left; and they seek my life, to take it away."'

And God responds to him that, well, actually, there are still 7000 that have not bowed their knees to Baal and are faithful to the LORD God.

Sometimes I've grown distressed over the years where family won't see their need for Jesus, bemoaning over my "lonely" state in my family and hometown of being the Lone Christian. But then God, in His gentle and even humorous way, slaps me upside the head and says, "DUH! I have my children everywhere! I am constantly drawing the lost to Myself and I have so many more than you know who have not bowed their knees to false gods."

So, it has been a week of joy and humbling to find brothers in the Lord that I didn't know I had! To find that some old friends will continue to kindle friendships into eternity is a MAJOR spiritual kick and a HUGE emotional delight!!

Alyssa was admitted to the hospital this week with strep and pneumonia. She was transferred to another hospital when treatment wasn't working. Her lungs have collapsed and they found that the strep is in her kidneys, causing the fluid and elevated BP. She will be transferred within 36 hours to another hospital in Madison as her kidneys appear to be shutting down.

PLEASE be praying for Alyssa and pass this on to your prayer warriors.

Don't you sometimes just get distressed reading some blogs and/or magazines? These women seem to have PERFECT homes, PERFECT children, PERFECT control over their weight, their laundry, their attitudes. WHO ARE THESE WOMEN, ANYWAY??? Well, you know what? They simply do NOT exist!

I was chatting with a gal recently who was very discouraged comparing her life to the cyberlife she saw of this one woman whose children were shown perfectly groomed and totally filled with a joy of life, family and learning. I thought I would share a dose of reality from MY life in this image of PERFECT. I have often been told that my FAILURES are a great encouragement to others. So, be prepared to be encouraged!

Do NOT paint pictures in your mind of idyllic families where no one pukes on the carpet or colors with magic markers on the walls or punches their brother. THEY DO NOT EXIST!!! If I posted lovely pictures (assuming that I TOOK lovely pictures) of my family and told sweet (even truthful) stories of our life...you are only getting the reality I CHOOSE to show! If it will make you feel better I could post a picture of a home with only 3 days of a working washer in 3 weeks and a family of 10 (extend that to now being 6 days out of 6 weeks). I could record me when I get on the children when they are falling down on their chores (I don't usually yell, but I can be VERY firm and stern!). I could video tape me when we have to be somewhere and someone has misplaced my hair and we are all frantically turning things upside down to find it!! (not to mention the time I thought I was using my eyebrow pencil only to find I had drawn BLUE eyebrows on and wondered why the pizza guy was giving me a funny look!!)

Then of course my kitchen ceiling has orange juice spilled on it (yes, on my ceiling!) and it won't come off, my family room ceiling FELL DOWN and we haven't been able to replace it, we have blankets hanging between the living room and front hall and between the kitchen and laundry room to try to keep some semblance of heat in the downstairs. Or there's the 3 kinds of gross carpeting laid down on top of one another in the boy's bedroom (the top of which is ugly shag from the '70s) that we haven't been able to tear off and replace.

We live in a seemingly small space (and sometimes it seems smaller than others) ALL THE TIME - and with 10 people it can get VERY noisy! Everyone sings loudly, jumps (which bounces the whole house) and things often go BUMP, BANG, THUNK down the stairs - if no one cries or screams, I now assume everyone is fine and it wasn't a person on their way downstairs! We use crib mattresses to surf down the stairs which makes LOTS of noise, screams and squeals.

Just know that your house only seems more chaotic to you because you are living in it. If you lived in mine you'd begin to appreicate the quietness of your home! Not that I don't love mine...I do. It just isn't this peaceful quiet haven that you sometimes see on blogs or in magazines. And that doesn't mean it is a bad thing!

  
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And I'm STILL not finished!! This week we have the New Life Drama Team here and it is always a bit different with 5 extra 20(something) year olds in the house. They each have a fast day (never 2 with the same fast day) so I work hard to make sure that each day they get to have something special they are hankering for. So, my menu is not always planned in advance because it often goes spur of the moment...what do they wake up really wishing they could have. Anyway, here is the best I can do for Menu Planning Monday.

Monday we had:

B: bagels & cream cheese
L: fish sticks, mac & cheese, veggie platter
S: shepherd's pie

Tuesday we are having:

B: cinnamon rolls
L: quesidillas, chips, veggies
S: beef stew, biscuits

Wednesday we will be having:

B: various muffins (they leave early in the morning and they can take this with them), fruit
L: lunch meat sandwiches
S: pasta w/marinara sauce, salad

Thursday (I think but haven't completely planned it yet):

B: scrambled eggs & english muffins
L: muffins & rice
S: skillet enchilladas, rice, veggie tray

Friday (the possibility is):

B: oatmeal
L: pigs in a blanket, chips, veggie tray
S: homemade pizza

Saturday (oh my, am I stretching my planning capability here):

B: cream of wheat
L: grilled cheese
S: pasta w/alfredo sauce, salad

Sunday: (uh oh, now I'm into CAN'T EVEN THINK TO DECIDE mode)

B: donuts (homemade)
L: mac & cheese
S: left overs/cereal

Whew!!! I guess I got it done right here online. Can you tell that I am struggling with decision making today??