Well, here we are...another week begun and I'm already behind!!!  So, I'd better get on the move and plan out the week's meals.

Monday
B: bagels
L: grilled cheese & carrot sticks
S: baked chicken and rice with veggies

Tuesday
B: pancakes
L: ramen
S: Italian sausage, potatoes, peppers

Wednesday
B: muffins
L: popcorn, fruit & cheese
S: quiche (broccoli & ham)

Thursday
B: homemade donuts
L: fish sticks, rice & veggie tray
S: pasta w/marinara sauce

Friday:
B: breakfast burritos
L: cornbread & rice
S: taco soup, crackers

Saturday
B: oatmeal
L: corndogs, chips & carrots
S: pasta w/alfredo sauce

Sunday
B: cinnamon rolls
L: mac & cheese
S: pizza

I have several blogs; my first one was for random spiritual thoughts. Turns out I didn't have too many!! Then I have this one and my other one is my homeschooling blog (which I will keep). But I want to combine my Random Thoughts with my Xanga. So I'm going to adding those in over the next few days/weeks. (NEVERMIND...I ADDED THEM ALL TODAY!!!) It isn't that I'm having a HUGE influx of great thoughts (or any thoughts at all), but that over several years I had some! And it's time to bring them all into one place.

I will be uploading them also to Facebook as notes in case anyone is interested in reading them.

"My! Seasons come and go so quickly here!"

As I prepare to fly out to Rhode Island for the memorial service for my father, I am thinking about how my life is changing as the seasons are flying by.

I remember, as if it were yesterday, sharing a bed with my 2 sisters and watching the Christmas lights reflected on our ceiling. Back then we had a silver tree with a cellophane covered wheel that spun, making changing colors on the tree. I remember spring cleaning and taking the windows out to wash them, making sure not to let the weighted pulley ropes disappear into the walls forever. I remember our brand new 1965 Vista Cruiser station wagon and sitting in it to watch The Russians Are Coming, The Russians Are Coming at the drive-in theater.

I remember the first boy who called me for a date when my sister was taking out my pierced earrings for the first time, and she slipped and made a new hole while I was trying to say, "Yes, I'll go out with you" and hoping it would be OK with my folks who were on their very first cruise. I remember working at a Chinese restaurant (one of my best friend's dad owned it) and rolling Ace badages and making yo-yos and the summer I worked as a machinist with my Dad...having to step onto the box he made for me so I could reach into my lathe machines!

I remember going off to college for the very first time, and moving to West Virginia for my very first teaching job; returning to Boston only to move away to New Mexico 2 years later and my mother crying on our front yard, knowing I'd never really come home to stay again. I remember visiting the church where I was to fall in love with a wonderful man who would become my husband. I remember the joys and faith-building times of poverty and blessing without jobs but receiving His provision with every step.

I remember the move to Purdue and the babies and the babysitting and moving light bulbs from room to room when we couldn't afford to buy new ones. I remember the friendless years where God taught me to seek friendship in Him alone. I remember the frigid North Dakota years that were warmed with sweet friendship formed that have lasted the years through.

And here I am with my first baby having just turned 20 and my youngest a very busy 5 with the hopes for more little ones fleeing with every month of drawing closer to 50.

And now my father has passed away. Time is flying more quickly than I expected. Precious loved ones are no longer around. Parents age and then pass away; children grow into adulthood completely unaware of the speed the seasons change down the road. But they have their own lives to lead, their own memories to create and, years from now, they will be writing their own blogs when I go to Glory.

Right now I am enjoying the possibilities of the new seasons God is taking me to and looking forward to the things He will continue to teach me and prepare me for. And that final season, which will never end, will be the ultimate glory and joy!

"Thoughts on being Offended"

by Kate Megill © 1997

Is it ever OK for a believer to be offended or is it sin? We often hear someone say (or we have said ourselves), "You have offended me" or "I was so offended by what you said or did". Do we mean that our feelings were hurt or is this just a *Christian* cover for anger? Hmmm, let's look at a few things.

Webster's gives some of these definitions for offended: "to cause to feel vexation or resentment usually by violation of what is proper or fitting", "to cause pain to". Are we feeling vexation or resentment and calling it "being offended" thinking that justifies our sin?

I have been in churches where everyone was what I called an *offense waiting to happen*. You had to walk on eggshells and still someone would be offended by what you said or didn't say, by what you did or didn't do. A pastor was called unfriendly and therefore unloving because he didn't always say hello to certain people on Sunday morning. Hearts were so self-focused that no one was able to see beyond their own selfish lives to the possible needs of another. Every action or word was not looked upon with love and compassion toward other people but as if it were intentionally directed at ME. Is this where God wants us to be??

Are we to be making assumptions about other's spirituality based on our own selfish focus? Are we to be quick to anger, quick to take up resentment, quick to take account of a wrong suffered, quick to believe the worst about one another?

We look at our children and sibling rivalry and shake our heads in exasperation at their sinful and self-centered hearts. Where in the world do these attitudes come from, we ask ourselves. "Your dress touched my dress!!" "You are on my side of the couch!" "Mom, he's looking at me!!" Are they seeing in US the attitude of being quickly offended? "Pastor, she's doing such and such and I'm offended!" "Did you hear what so and so said? I can't believe it and I am just so offended!" "How could a true believer not see how much I am offended by such and such?"

In years past I was one of those "walk on eggshells around THAT one" type of person. I believed the worst about others and was prepared to defend myself to the death assuming that others were ready to stick a knife in MY back! And this was when I was a believer! But God in His mercy has shown me a deeper understanding of His love and mercy and grace. He has taught me a little bit (or rather I have learned a little bit) about assuming the best until I am PROVED wrong. I have seen first-hand what God means when He requires us to turn the other cheek.

And you know what? MY life is much happier and more pleasant when I focus on others with love. I have greater joy and freedom to love others because I don't feel like I HAVE to fight for #1 (as the world tells us)...that's God's job! My job is to be willing to be poured out as a drink offering for the sake of others and the glory and honor of the One who bought my life. My job is to be willing to live a life of sacrificial, unsung servanthood to those He came to save. My job is to see that "He must increase, I must decrease." OUCH!!

How often am I looking for that recognition that *I* am so wonderful! Thinking, 'Boy! didn't God get a great deal when He chose me!' Convincing myself that I and I alone have the corner on the truth market and everyone else is barely keeping their heads above water! Rationalizing my sin as *weaknesses* that others will have to put up with while pointing out every speck in the eyes of my fellow brethren. Knowing clearly how others are "so legalistic" in their convictions or "being sucked into the deception of the enemy" in the freedoms they enjoy while at the same time believing that I (and I alone again) am living the balance that God reveals to us.

I guess I've just been thinking about my heart this Christmas season. Many of us will be spending time with families or friends. Some of us will be spending quiet time alone with our husbands and children. Some of us will even be counting this as just another day. It just seemed to me a good time to reflect on our attitudes toward others as we may be spending time with others. We may be with the unsaved or with believers who don't hold the same convictions that we do. It might be a good time for us to go before the Lord and ask Him to examine our attitudes and perspectives toward others. I've been asking myself these questions:

Am I extending to others the grace the Lord extends to me?

Am I willing to be misunderstood as I seek to understand others more fully?

Am I willing to drop a contentious point without "getting the last word in"?

Am I trusting the sanctifying work of the Lord in the lives of other believers even if they seem to be going in a direction very different from my own?

Am I working to have the "goal of my instruction" be love?

Am I realizing that "knowledge puffs up but love builds up" and am I therefore pursing love above all else?

Am I working to believe the best about others and to think that major differences we seem to have are probably misunderstandings that can be put to right with loving, open and humble communication? (this is different from trying to persuade that *I* am right, but to seek unity of spirit)

Am I centering my speech on the love and grace of the Lord rather than on me?

Hard questions for me to ask myself, but necessary if I am to work to keep a divisive and critical spirit far from my heart. How about you? Are these areas that God may be touching your heart on this Christmas season? May we all seek to follow Him more completely that people will see less and less of US and more and more of Him. This is the same Lord who said from the cross, "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do." This thought sends me to my knees in tears; humbled and awed.

Wive's roles - where we've gone wrong.

I am writing this in response to a friend's comments about wives she has heard who constantly bash their husbands about not helping out enough at home and her frustration with that kind of attitude. I put together some thoughts of my own based on this.

I agree that a major concern in our Christian women today is the wrong way they view their relationships with their husbands - they tend to see their husbands as THEIR helpmates, rather than the other way around. I think it is part of the lack of real discipleship in our churches (not to bash the church today, but discipleship is where I feel we have fallen down).

When I was first saved I was privileged to be in a wonderful church of disciplers. I was trained in the basics of the Christian faith, in how to study the Word of God, how to share my faith, how to disciple others, how to persevere in prayer, how to live a life of faith and joy. What I DIDN'T learn was practically how to look at my life as a woman with joy and acceptance. Part of it was my own sin that God hadn't touched on yet, but part of it was a real independant spirit that was almost built into me.

Well, our past 2 decades have seen Christian women come to a greater conviction of being stay-at-home moms (but they wouldn't do this if their children were grown) BUT they still don't have such a deep understanding of their real roles as wives. They see themselves as helpmates to their CHILDREN, meeting all of their needs and placing their children first and foremost in their lives. They are on the right track but have gotten off the path and are stalled down a dead-end. This has led to a great build up of frustration and resentment - and that tends to focus on the husband. BUT this resentment and frustration is merely a result of a misunderstanding of our roles and purpose.

We (wives) were CREATED to be helpers to our husbands. That sounds so wimpy, doesn't it? But we are created as helpmates in the same way that the Holy Spirit is called the Parakletos. This word is translated: comforter, helper, counselor, advocate. It means 'to come along side' or literally 'called to one's side'. The word used to describe the wife as the helpmate is used in only two ways in scripture: of the wife and of the Lord!! This makes for a very powerful affect that our help is to bring to our husbands. Our job of being a help, support, comfort, counsel for our husbands is in reality a very high and honorable calling.

A real and deep understanding of this truth can cause a complete change of our views. We now see that all that we do (including raising our children for God's glory) is to be ministering to our husbands. Our goals and vision for our family should be our HUSBANDS' goals and vision; we should be like ducks-in-a-row lined up behind our husbands (metaphorically speaking) following the way he leads and having our family be a visible expression of his heart and purpose before the Lord.

Of course this raises all sorts of questions:

-why do I have to be the slave?
-when do I get what I want?
-how come I don't get any voice?
-how do I get my needs met?
-what about when I'm burning out and need a break?
-how am I supposed to get it all done?

The key element in all these questions is "I". But the longer I walk with the Lord the more my heart cries out like John the Baptist "He must increase, I must decrease." My life has been bought by Christ by the weightiest cost - His precious life. He owns me now, He controls what I do, how I serve, whom I serve and my very purpose in existing. My life is poured out as a drink offering before the throne of grace. And if He has chosen to use my life in ministry to my husband, placing his needs above my own, then I am honored and blessed to be able to glorify Him. And I know that in doing so, God Himself will meet every need I have (and many that I don't even know that I have!)...sometimes through my husband or children and sometimes in ways I can't even begin to imagine. The point is, when we do things HIS way, we NEVER lose out!! He can even choose to exalt us with earthly glory if that is His best for us.

So, learning to stay home and raise our children for the Lord is just the beginning of the journey the Lord has for us. Next He wants to restore to us the joy in our creation that was lost at the fall but was redeemed at the cross. We just haven't always learned how to walk in that redemption. The first step to learning to honor our husbands in our speech is to understand how to honor them in our hearts by embracing our roles as ministers/servants in our homes to our husbands. It IS a joyful journey of freedom!

God's Mighty Deeds

I've been reading in 1 Chronicles lately and one of the things that God really placed on my heart was the power of telling His stories about His mighty deeds. My children all made a profession of faith when they were very young (3 or 4) and therefore didn't have the more dramatic conversion testimony that I have (having come to Christ when I was 19). Their young spiritual lives have been more solid and stable than mine was, but it has also been less dramatic. I have been convicted about the absolute necessity of my passing down my stories of His mighty deeds for the strengthening of their faith.

God is always reminding the Israelites to pass down their stories from generation to generation. He even arranged for 66 books to be written to do that very thing and they have been preserved for thousands of years. Those stories served as reminders to us of His will and desires as well as His judgements and discipline. But they have always shown us His power and mighty majesty.

In my early Christian years God revealed Himself in miraculous ways on an almost daily basis. When we didn't have money for rent, it would appear as if out of the blue; when there was no food in the house bags, would show up on our doorstep. There was money under our feet at isolated gas stations and money found in desk drawers immediately after praying to purchase a replacement bible when one had been given to a new believer. We'd get apartments by the Lord having the lot (tossing dice) fall on us and we'd get little red houses by praying Psalm 34. It was an expectation in our lives that the Lord intervened in the lives of His children who were beloved to Him. We lived with expectation and hope: of His continued blessing and of His imminent return. Any thunderstorm could be the signal of His coming for us and we were in a constant state of awe.

My children miss this and somewhere along the way my heart has fallen into mundaneness and I am now feeling the loss. My reading in 1 Chronicles (of all places) has challenged me to renew the message I am teaching to my children. I want their hearts to be filled with zeal and passion for His Name but how can they know that if they do not see it modeled in my life? We have begun a daily time of testimony where we pray and share demonstrations of His mighty deeds. I pray that as I share His stories of wonder and might that my children's hearts will quicken as they pray - developing a heart to expect to see Him, knowing His faithfulness through all of history.